21 July 2014 @ 10:20 am
Happy birthday plantmom. You made it! You made it one more day and I hope today is as filled with reminders of love, of strength, of support and of fishy sock-hugs! 
"You find someone to carry you."

Life is difficult, for everyone. We each struggle day-to-day with our issues and problems. We have bills. We have loss. We have joy. We have love, we have each other, or we have just ourselves to lean on. Financially, it’s tight for a lot of people I know and love. They’re struggling to come up with mortgage payments, car payments and groceries.

Imagine, however, this: you’ve always struggled. Your whole entire life has been a struggle. A struggle to get out of a place that poisons you. Away from a situation that may have broken you. Imagine the strength and the self-will, the pride it takes and breaks—to get out on your own and find your way. Imagine that, now you have a loved one. You have a child. You have a friend that offers you a home to rent and while things were never, ever perfect—you think, “Finally. A step in the right direction. I can do this.”

And then imagine everything that could go wrong, does go wrong.


Cross posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Comment wherever you like:
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
08 June 2014 @ 02:51 am

theferrett at A Poem For Rebecca Meyer, 2008-2014

I mourn with my online friends and Rebecca's family.

Current Mood: crushedcrushed
My thoughts have constantly been with Rebecca, Rebecca's family, Gini and Ferrett today. (Read: In between grocery shopping, in between petting cats, in between paying bills and in between stressing out over a septic system--in between, in the little cracks of something good, I think of this little girl I have never met and I think of her family and I feel an unforgiving fist-lump at the bottom of my throat. I feel tears and frustration: that I know my tears don't DO anything. And that I HAVE to do something. No armchair or social activist posts will help.

And so, I have made up my mind.

I can't cure this. I can't do anything to help the family where I am. I can't comfort them so far away.

But there is something I can do. There is something YOU can do to hasten the dream that someday childhood cancer will be a myth:

Cross posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Comment wherever you like:
Current Mood: sadsad
This is the ENTIRE story of dealing with having to LEGALLY be in contract, in Florida, with a Septic company if you own an Aerobic Septic System. This is what we've been dealing with. This is why you're gonna hear about that crazy lady in Florida who kills people with glitter.

This fuckery is long so I put it behind this cutCollapse )

Cross posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Comment wherever you like:
Current Mood: angryangry
02 June 2014 @ 11:51 am
My birthday is next month, July 2nd. I'm not going to bandy around the bush. There are things I would really, really like for my birthday, so here is what I want this year:

~~Hug someone you don't normally hug (but are comfortable in doing.)
~~Remind someone that you love them by doing something small but recognizable.
~~Donate cans of pet food, used but clean towels, blankets, kitty litter, dog/cat toys, garbage bags to your local no-kill shelter and or rescue-er.
~~If you get a pet or are looking for one around this time, DON'T SHOP. ADOPT!
~~Send me a birthday selfie on July 2nd of you wearing something pink.
~~Anything, anything at all from this wish list:

In an effort to make a better game stream and be able to play more games, I am faced with the reality that my computerybits are starting to age. With the newest $1000 dolla dolla septic bill, all plans at upgrading are put off indefinitely. Now I DON'T expect anyone to actually buy any of this. Really. But you know I am putting it out there because I can dream and dreams are like sparkle-farting unicorns: you just never know.
~~Graphics card upgrade
~~Stand alone mic with pop shield (for streams)
~~Processor upgrade: for better games, better graphics, better game streams
~~Additional RAM, for recording gaming and to become more powerful than any fart-sparkling unicorn ever.
~~Digital Downloads/Collectors edition/Computer games
~~All of these can be found in my Mels Computery Daydream wish list here:

So there you have it. These are the things I dream. (Other than riding across the sky on a pink glitter carpet shoving shinies in peoples eyes.) 

Cross posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Comment wherever you like:
08 May 2014 @ 12:25 am
There is always a light.
Right beside your favorite rocking chair in the middle of my mind,
cluttered like your favorite table.
You filled your table with nail-file swords and lip-gloss unicorns,
nail polish knights that came to life because
these were 'big girl,' things.
And as I lay back,
your arm a pillow for my dreams, the rocking chair's sway
making the light a bobbing lantern carried in the night--
I thought I could be like this forever.

The first time I saw the needle I marveled.
How this plastic numbered vial with metal entered your body
to save you everyday, as if it were some soul-resurrecting insulin god
come down to touch its gloried warrior on the battle field filled with
test strips. Jabs. Alcohol wipes.
I laughed when they made you test on an orange.
There was light streaming from the hospital door when we left.
It made the curls of your hair into angel halos.

The first time I came home and you weren't there, my father played it off.
A chance to relax, he said.
We'll have fun and visit her as much as we can.
Just keep the house clean.
When you came home you spoke of sugar-comas as if you were shopping for new shoes.
How the EMT's with you began shaking you and calling your name.
How you said it felt like you were at the bottom of a lake, seeing their faces
wavering through distant light.

The last picture I have of you
staring blankly ahead, above you.
Your skin reminds me of jellyfish beached; there's no color.
I am afraid of your arms.
I am startled by your legs.
The coffee cup in your hand has more substance in the entire picture than you do,
it looks more real than the woman laying prone.
I don't know who she is.
I don't know how to keep looking at this picture.

Dad asked me to write something for your funeral.
As if asking a daughter to pen something quick for her dead mother could ever be easy.
As if a single word could erase the fact that I won't be paying out my asshole for flowers sent from one country to the next and not even care because I love you, and,
that's what daughters do.
As if a single speech represented all the mistakes I made, shooting us into the past where a picture of you, laying blue-lipped and grey shell-skinned didn't send me into a panic attack that kept me up for three days straight.
I never wrote anything. I never wrote anything good enough.
He said he read something of mine, anyway.
He said there were over one hundred people who packed into a church made centuries ago to handle no more than fifty to hear him speak.
To remember you.
He said you would have loved what I wrote.

And I remember.
There is always a light.

Cross posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Comment wherever you like:
22 February 2014 @ 12:49 am
The funny thing about keeping an online journal and trying to keep one on paper is that I realize how much I just don't tell people.

Cross posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Comment wherever you like:
11 January 2014 @ 12:22 pm
I think that as much as I adore Live Journal for what it's done for me: the ability to reach all of you, the communities I adore, make all of you (pretty much) facebook, G+ and Tumblr friends...I think I've outgrown it.

I enjoy the quick, rapid fire updates of G+, or the long rambling stories I can post. I love, love, love Tumblr. Love it. (I know not everyone gets it, that's okay too.)

I can keep up with so many of you I love using either of these things--that as you can see (via the date of my last posts), I'm just not using it as much anymore.

Hell, I'm not even really updating my own personal word press at or (which I need to work on.)

So what I mean to say is, I'm not dead--I'm just not on Live Journal much. I may be missing out on your awesome stuff because of it, and I'm sorry. But if you have a Google Plus account or facebook, you can re-connect to me there via searching for Pinkatron.

My Tumblr tends to be re-posts, lots of gifs, cats, dogs, birds, stories, art, swearing, sexy people and more gifs. If you're nutty enough to want to add me there, I'm elf_fu there too.
04 December 2013 @ 08:39 pm

Hello Santa's elves and Scrooge's humbugs.

This year, like every year--I would like to send you cards. I have a card-address-sharing post up already with screened comments for leaving your address or an email for you to contact me. You can find thaaaaaaaaaaat heeeeeeeere:

( )

Next up, I've done a few bits of shopping on the Amazon wishlists of friends we could afford to give to so far. I'm trying to stagger it out this year.

If you have an wishlist (with your list profiles filled out, otherwise I can't send you anything) PLEASE feel free to share with me your wishlists!

( )


Cross posted from my Dreamwidth journal. Comment wherever you like: