You will need one microwave, one packet of microwavable oatmeal and either the amount called for of water or milk found on the back of the package, (your preference) for making your oatmeal.
How has your morning been? :D
- Step 1
Blearily search through packets of half-opened angel hair pasta, push aside those odd long bbq matches and shove the macaroni out of the way. Find oatmeal box.
Step 2
Remove one packet of oatmeal and haphazardly replace the oatmeal box in between the mess of crap you just dug it out of.
Step 3
Straighten out all the boxes that have now fallen over.
Step 4
In my case, I like milk in my oatmeal instead of water. So I shuffled off to our fridge to get the milk. You may of course, shuffle off to your nearest water source here, instead.
Step 5
Open all of the cabinets in hopes of finding a measuring cup that is clean.
Step 6
Find measuring cup but realize it is dirty. Wash it. Dry it out.
Step 7
Fill it with suggested amount of water or milk. Pour in a--
Step 8
Get a bowl.
Step 9
Pour milk in bowl.
Step 10
Open up oatmeal package and pray to the geek gods you don't jerk it open spraying dried oatmeal all over the place. Pour into milk. I like to stir it a bit before putting it in the microwave.
Step 11
Read instructions. Instructions say 1 to 2 minutes. Now, I like my oatmeal thick. Watery isn't my thang, and the last time I made it, it turned out this way. So, I choose 2 minutes.
Step 12
During the two minutes, I like to take this time to put everything away.
Step 13
Open microwave door. Notice swiftly after two minutes there is oatmeal plastered to the ceiling, the sides, the glass dish, cooked to the edges of the bowl and literally none in the bowl itself...
Step 14
Wash out bowl. Wash out microwave. Trudge back to the fridge for milk and get another packet of oatmeal. Measure milk, so on and so forth.
Step 15
Pour milk into bowl, except this time, pour too fast. Notice that there is hardly any milk in the bowl but milk all over the kitchen cabinet and dripping onto the floor.
Step 16
Clean up milk.
Step 17
Remeasure milk. Pour again. S l o w e r this time.
Step 18
Open packet. Except, not really. The strip you've torn off the top didn't open the packet.
Step 19
Search utility drawer for scissors, not trusting yourself to try to open it again due to common issues with flying oatmeal after suddenly opened container.
Step 20
Cut open packet, pour in.
Step 21
MICROWAVE FOR ONE MINUTE. ONLY.
Step 22
Remove from microwave and resolve never to make oatmeal again. For at least a month.
How has your morning been? :D
clumsy
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