We have this thread exploding over at Dragon's Mark: http://www.dragonsmark.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=2342



Any time I publicly, politely express my opinion when it comes to role play, role playing, role players--all I get is the unleashed mo'fo'ing fury from some who assume that just because I say something, and chose to do so in public, I am bashing them. I am willfully calling them out because, I, like any evil public internet doer, sit behind my monitor day in and day out rubbing my hands together plotting ways to make people feel bad about themselves. Seriously. All day. I don't even get up to pee, I pee in a can in case I miss a chance to jump all over someone and make them feel like poo. /sarcasm and humor.

If I knew that I could hold a discussion with my fellow role playing humans in a manner reasonable and adult, I would have more posts public. I would dare to take off my filter and allow anyone to come with me. We would dance the dance of awesome maturity and have lively discussions all day. We know the truth of the matter, don't we, you and I, my lurktastic little friends. This doesn't work in the world of internets role play. Someone will always: misunderstand, take that misunderstanding and feed misinformation to the masses, completely miss the point of the post, show up just to tear you a new one, read the post and get all upset and tell all their friends except you, spread rumors, gossip, or OMFG H8 U FOREVER.

Part of me agrees that it is wrong to openly bash someone behind the lock and friends filter of their journal not giving them a chance to defend themselves. Part of me agrees, even, that is not entirely fair to discuss someone (no bashing, just discussion) where they cannot see it either.

HOWEVER--given the tendencies of people when confronted with a mistake they'd made or even a perceived mistake even when one is being as polite and as professional as possible? I can see why it has to be done in some cases. Some people just flat out cannot take criticism, suggestions or advice in any way, shape or form. Punishing the person attempting to do good happens so much that it is no wonder people are driven to be honest underground, somewhere safe in a place where their respected peers can discuss things with them. And this is why I have a filter and friends only entries.

I have been sent several letters in my day from people upset from what I have said. They asked me, "Tell me honestly." So I did. I did my best to remain polite, objective, keep the person out of the subject at hand and tell them honestly. For that, I end up getting backlash and angry words. This will never go away. So again, this is why I have a Role Players Filter on this journal and why only certain people I consider my trusted peers and friends can read it.

Another of my many parts thinks the big stink is being caused, specifically, because PEOPLE ARE DOING THINGS WHERE OTHER PEOPLE CAN'T BE NOSEY ABOUT IT. I am of the belief a small percentage of the biggest issue is that role players are getting their feathers ruffled over the fact that they aren't privy to all and any information.



Some other stuff I wanted to touch on but in list form, because this would just end up being an epic post:

You can't police what people write about on their blogs.

You can't police what people say about you behind your back.

You can't police what people think about you, even if they've never met you.

You can't police the right for people to have a bad opinion of you, no matter how nice you are to them.

You can't force role players to adjust to what you find acceptable. I believe it is more than alright to discuss my issues with fellow, trusted role playing partners and friends in the safety and sanctity of my own space on the internet. Some believe this should never be done, and one should never name names no matter where and it should all be done either on a forum or behind the scenes in private messages. Neither of us are wrong. Just different.

YOU CANNOT POLICE/LEGISLATE MORALITY.(thanks the_dream_king, for helping me form that idea. Well. Thanks to your mom!) What you think is alright may not be alright for someone else, and vice versa. You cannot force someone else to see that your way is the right way or the highway.

You can learn to let go:

You can learn to not care about what everyone else is saying about you, and care about what your real friends are saying.

You can learn to, if not stop caring (because yes, I know it's hard for some) redirect that sensitivity to caring about something else.

You CAN police/legislate your OWN morality.

You can learn to communicate with your fellow role players

You can learn that the only person who should really be concerned about online, is you. Is what you are writing and saying something you can fess up to proudly a year from now? Is what you are writing and doing something you can at least, look back on later and go--"Wow. Ooops! But I learned something!"

I am learning everyday. I am making mistakes. But I am doing it within a circle of well trusted individuals and friends and I am not giving myself ulcers over what everyone else thinks of me. I have my moments of spite, anger, and childishness. I am learning from them too.

What are you learning?

This had been a Mel is Full of Opinions Role Play Rant/Discussion/Post.

This post is PUBLIC, its anonymous commenting is ON, meaning you do not have to be a member of live journal to reply to this entry! NO comments will be screened/hidden. Huzzah.