“Good evening, and welcome to the Rhy’din minute. I’m your Rhy’din reporter, Princess Peony.

Bad news on the Tavern front. Rhy’din’s lost yet another established inn due to poor construction and severe drafts caused by sighing. Thirty two people were crushed, but luckily, no one was seriously hurt. The Furry Bagpipe was rebuilt within three minutes thanks to a few local gods who pitched in a hand to help.

Yesterday the local Police say that several thousand innocent people, including children, were needlessly slaughtered to show just how evil, evil truly is in Rhydin. The Watch, cooperating with the local Police are devastated. They say it may take years to identify the newest wash of dead and longer still to find a suitable place to bury them all. The Watch and police have turned to outsourcing for help; several deities are doing their best to assist. If you would like to also, assist in identifying the dead, Police are asking citizens to visit the Rhy’din Morgue.


This just in: I’ve heard that Queen Floofums McSpecialpants has finally given birth to her identical twins on the table of local Medieval Tavern. She welcomes Trixie and Marcus to her empire, and wishes them a long reign someday when they ascend her throne. As an aside, several men were seen running in a panic or running over the unconscious bodies of their companions—witness’ say they were fighting over glitter when the sight of a woman giving birth caused several to faint, several more to stampede.

And now, the Rhy’din weather.

Chances are if you’re going out today there’s a slight chance of biblical floods, light showers, sprinkles, hail, seven inches of snow, bright sunny spots, severe wind, light tropical storms, mixed with late summer humidity and frost. Tomorrow, we expect the same.

And that’s it for this evening’s Rhy’din minute. Join me next week when we share with you our exclusive interview with Odin. I’m your Rhy’din reporter, Princess Peony, and that’s…the Rhy'din news.”

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