Horray for boobies! And cherries!

19 November 2009 , 06:55 pm

accomplished

Thank you guys for your addresses so far!

And encase all of ya'll missed it: Click this link to be taken to the post where I'm asking to exchange Christmas cards with new LJ peeps and Peeps who might have sent me their addresses via email or IM's. (I lose those. I've got everyone's from 2008 & 2009 who replied here at live journal though.)

NaNoWriMo Update
Yesterday I had 13,000 there abouts still. Since Christmas is coming I've been padding up Triond and trying to earn a little $ of course, so I joined a new pay-to-write site and ended up doing a review for Star Wars Galaxies.

No one had written one!

So...I have used that review to pad my word count LMAO.

ALSO I HAVE BEEN LISTENING TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC ALLLL DAY YAY! CHRISTMAS!

And so I close with something I haven't done in a while but you should know me for, by now.

A Random Mel List Update Stuff:

My pink cell phone's screen, when flipped open either comes up like a television that's on with no cable (a dark black screen that gives off a little bit of light,) or it works SO LONG AS I DON'T TOUCH ANY BUTTONS LOLOLOLOL. Shawn's phone started randomly shutting off a few months ago.

Called AT&T, not only were we able to replace BOTH of our phones for super cheap, because we're getting refurbished phones--we were able to afford upgrading our account. Not only do I have unlimited text? I now have unlimited information transfer. That means NO LIMITS ON: IM's, Email check & send, Pictures & videos. YAY.

Shawn and I are getting LG Vu's. We know they aren't the iphone. We can't afford the ipod, and compared with our phones which were made in the stone age AND they're completely touch-screen I am PRETTY BESIDE MYSELF ABOUT OUR PHONES RIGHT NOW OKAY? OKAY YAY.

Our old California King bed sheets, purchased thankfully by Grandma for Christmas three years ago just...started unraveling four or five months ago. Shawn, the gentlemen that he is, has been sleeping on a GIANT GAPING SHEET HOLE for the entire time. Recently we were able to scrounge up enough money and snatch a really GREAT deal on a full set of cotton, satin finish, 800 thread count california king with matching pillow cases. OH MY GOD THESE SHEETS ARE SOFTER THAN THE TEARS OF THE BEBE JESUS. And strong. And LOUD, loud as in if you sigh with too much force all the sheets rustle BUT I DON'T CARE I'M SLEEPING ON JESUS TEARS.

Despite doing good on the money front bills and things We Should Do But Cost Money still keep coming. Shawn says I need to hurry up and take over the world with cute clay things already.

I'm thinking about taking down digitally drawn art commissions. I'm just coming to the conclusion that I don't draw as well as I make disgustingly cute things out of clay.

I joined Helium today.

My lists are always too long!

15016 / 50000
(30.03%)

23 October 2009 , 06:48 pm

Windows 7, a pink bunny, lizards leaping in my face and more earrings.

awake

earrings, fun, geekery, life, lol, mel is a silly bitch, mels random lists

THIS ENTRY IS RANDOM

I made another tin-box critter, a pink bunny and a pair of apple & worm earrings as well as a fire flower.

The fire flower looks like whomever made it has the onset of palsy :/

I swear, if I had a steady hand the shit I could do.

I have pictures, but the card reader in my computer isn't cooperating. I'd use Shawns, but he's uploading windows 7 which we pre-ordered before the lawyer bill (:p smart geeks, geek smart!) and got a steal of a deal on. So I have to wait and you do too.

BECAUSE I KNOW YOU GUYS AREN'T TIRED OF CLAY YET RIGHT? RIGHT. RIGHT?

In other news, since my self imposed internet hiatus--it's interesting to find out who remembers you and who you remember! GASP. WAS THAT A DIG OR A SARCASTIC COMMENT OR SOMETHING ELSE? DUN DUN DUN.

I went out onto the back porch on my way in searching for a leaf. I was gonna try and see if I could do some sort of press-thing with clay and get away with making pretty leaf earrings when I noticed a big, fat, Georgie*. He was just sitting there, probably the length of my middle finger eye balling me up like I might be dinner. So I reach down and try and scoop him into my hands.

We play I-chase-you-flail-about-having-a-fit and eventually I am able to cup my hands around him gently and trap him. I scoop him up in my triumph and lift him up. "Aha!" I crowed, happily, brought my hands up to my face and opened them just a little bit to peek in at my captured lizard friend.

Who then flew at my face as if my hands were far more horrifiying.

Surprised as I was, I froze stupidly for several seconds while this itty bitty lizard clung from my nose and lower lip--no doubt just as startled as I was. When I was able to rouse some sort of response (which I think sounded a lot like, "whhhhrrrrrwhhwhhhwhrrrr?!") I hopped about a second from foot to foot. This seemed to awaken my swaying, lizard friend and he flung himself from my face to my boobs.

Admittedly, it's a good place to be, but my brain responsible for reacting to creepy crawlies didn't like this much either and made me jerk my hands upward and sweep him off my shirt. He landed, safely, to the concrete porch below and scuttled off while I in a daze, hurried into the house.

An hour later and nearly recovered from my lizard encounter, I was on my way to the fridge to rummage for Raven's canned food. Feeling that odd, almost ghost-finger brush up and down my spine that meant someone's watching me, I turned my head to peer out the french doors in our kitchen leading to the porch. For a moment, I wasn't sure what it was entirely until by pure accident, my eyes fell to a dot lurking below the bench on the porch.

The dot was a lizard.

Staring his beady little eyes into the glare of kitchen french door glass, patiently waiting, waiting...waiting for his moment of vengeance against his earlier capture.

I write this in hopes a record of me remains; beware the lizard and the chasing there of.

P.S:

How the fuck are you guys?

*Brown Anole literally have taken over Florida. They're on every surface on every wall, sunning themselves everywhere. I lovez them.

24 July 2009 , 01:43 am

Mel's Random Nifty 'net findings

awake

mels random lists, writing for pennies

So I went to bed early and have spent the last three hours doing nothing but tossing, turning, staring, tossing, sighing, cursing, turning and tossing.

This is great because tomorrow I still have to return to the Dr's office to show them I am not a TB infested zombie and I have to show up to some of my internetty commitments before they think I've gone the way of the farm.

While I was tossing and turning I thought to myself, I should share some geeky stuff. And you know there's always room for geeky stuff.

Plurk

What is Plurk?
Plurk's a feature rich, wow-holy-customizable canadian response to the twitter craze, made in 2007. And yet it's a little different than twitter. You can customize, personalize and control your micro updates a bit more than you can on twitter.

I have a twitter account already, why bother?
Well, you can smoosh (connect) your Plurk and twitter account together now. If you update your Plurk, Plurk will automatically update your twitter!

What are some of Plurks features?

Amazing premade skins or
The ability to completely customize everything via CSS
The ability to disable comments on your Plurks
Connect to Facebook, Friendster, Twitter & Multiply
Mobile friendly page: http://www.plurk.com/m
HMTL or Flash widget
Emoticons
Reward System via Karma points which are earned by activity, responding & updating. This gives you more emoticons and more neat doo dads.

I don't like Twitter, but I don't hate the mini updates stuff.
Then maybe you might like Plurk better? You can visit my Plurk page to take an ogle of what I've going going here: http://www.plurk.com/2phatgeeks
And hey, if you want to sign up and be auto added to my friends list, follow the invite url here: http://www.plurk.com/2phatgeeks/invite

The Ultimate Tag Scanner

URL: http://www.xdlab.ru/en/
What is it?
The Ultimate Tag scanner is an MP3 hoarder's dream program. As it states on its English page, it's multifunction program for organizing and managing your music collection. One of the biggest issues I've had is the odd names or tags on my MP3's which I wish I could fix in a manner easier--this might be the program to do it.

What's the catch?
The catch is that while it has a perfectly clear, English version, there doesn't seem to be an English help file included, which means if tinkering blind with programs to figure out how they work isn't your forte, you might want to pass this on by.

Sell your soul Writing to the highest bidder.

You know me. Always on the quest to make a little cash on the side via online, because lazy is awesome!

Well, that and being not able to work. So! I've rounded up a few places I post at a lot, or use with 100% consistency with payout (even if the pay out is 40 cents :p) or look pretty legit with a solid following of users online.

Triond: https://www.triond.com/index.php
The key with triond is not to post the content anywhere else first, and to pump out something once a day AND, as sucky as it sounds--make at leave five or six major social bookmarking site accounts so that you can share what you upload to Triond.

Payperpost v4 beta: https://v4.payperpost.com/
It's been less than a week since I signed up for the beta account at payperpost and I've gotten my first offer. Granted, it was for $2, but that was two bucks I earned writing about a subject I specified in the tags describing 2phatgeeks.

Social Spark: http://socialspark.com/
It's run by Izea, the same company that owns payperpost, the concept is the same if a little more user friendly. Social Spark actually lets you have a profile, connect with other bloggers and have friends, comment to one another ect while advertisers can contact you and offer you $$ for writing and reviewing their stuff. Although I was never accepted as a Social Spark member due to the fact they rejected 2phatgeeks, I've worked with payperpost for a year or more now and haven't had any issues with payment or dodgymcdodgerson there--so I'm recommending it.

Constant Content: http://www.constant-content.com/
People write content for blogs, or web content, people with money to burn show up to buy it. I have just signed up for this and have not delved into the workings of it. I am having some issues getting my account activated, so dig around a little more to see how this one is.

As I peer at the site, the general gist is that you get to set the fee for what you write, how it's used or you can set "Best Offer." You can sell your content for FULL RIGHTS as well. Keep in mind that FULL RIGHTS means that anyone who buys your content for FULL RIGHTS can legally put their name on it and use it as they see fit.

Associate Content: http://www.associatedcontent.com/
Another publish content, earn money website. You can write, add video, audio and images. You basically earn money by writing and then uploading that content to the site via page impressions/views. Here's a handy break down of their earning system: http://www.associatedcontent.com/resources_performancepay.shtml

ALL of these websites are free to join. If you ever follow one of these links and/or find a make money online blog that asks you to give them a fee to sign up, don't. It's better to avoid anyone asking for money first.

And there you have it.

I really wish I could sleep, lol.

21 July 2009 , 02:13 am

Notes to Self:

tired

mels random lists

I must, I will, and I can accept with quiet dignity:

some people will never keep promises.
everyone is different.
not everyone will return the favor, be it with role play, letters, text messages, e-mails, work, art, life in general--some people are giant black holes who suck up everything you do and spit nothing out in return including yourself on bad days. There is nothing that really can be done about it.
Just because it is extremely important to me doesn't mean it is to someone else; it may be negligible or non existent on the important scale to other people. There is nothing to be done here, either.
to let go. If something did or did not happen the way you wanted it to two years ago or last month, for the love of cupcakes girl--let it go. You, which is me, will give me a stress induced disease I am sure of it.
that overeating is not grounds to rip yourself apart internally and mentally flagellate yourself with the barbs of hatred +1 smiting. Being fat is not grounds to do so either. Eating an extra cookie isn't either. Stop. Learn to accept you are human and going to make mistakes and then continue on. Stop the self-hate for being normal, DON'T STOP trying to lose weight and manage what you eat because you feel a little down for screwing up!
I will never be other artists. I will never have their talent, their photographic eye, their lyrical talents or their amazing shading techniques. Because I am not them. Comparing yourself to someone else is ridiculous. Cease and desist all comparisons at once. This is why nothing gets done, because you cannot draw the way you think you should--when in reality, you are forcing yourself into a little box, drawing this way or that way but never your own way. It is not constructive and you are doing yourself no favors. By all means, worship the wonderful artists. Envy. It is human after all--but stop comparing yourself. Read the book: You Are Different And It's Really Not As Bad As You Think.
people come and go. When they go, let them. Some times it needs to happen.
staying up all night to make yourself anxious over all of this is silly and you are silly and you will always be silly. Acceptance is apparently the first step to...something.
the above applies to everything else. This has been your daily Mel to Mel reminder. Thank you, come again.

17 June 2009 , 05:12 pm

Random Mel Bits, Greater Realms, Gums & Lists

accomplished

Zoë Keating - Sun Will Set | Powered by Last.fm

life, mels random lists, role play

I have a plethora of unimportant things to say and aren't you lucky that all of you who friended me get to read them?

First, for those of you who are role playing awesomesauce people like myself: Greater Realms is, officially 100% complete. The theme is installed, the Flashchat (<--Clicking that link will bring you to G.R. Flashchat which you need to have an account with the GR board to log into) has been skinned to match the summer theme and, I hope that slwatson can say she's proud of what the board has evolved into. If you haven't visited or bothered signing up, I'm asking pretty please with sugar ontop that you consider doing so. No one who plays on the forums or the chat are stuck to single settings, members can create their own private or public rooms if they want, which personally (and I AM biased) is fantastic to me. Remember! We're not trying to replace anyone, we're just trying to give more places to play.
The next plan for Greater Realms is to simply wait for a points/coins/post count = pretend money MOD & store mod that will work with phpBB3 that isn't in alpha phase. I don't really trust half of them out there now. Some of them haven't been worked on since the release of phpBB3.
The gum surrounding my wisdom tooth has stopped swelling and returned to normal for now. Shawn went out to Walmart and purchased a waterpick, and an oral cleanser that is 10% Carbamide Peroxide. Using the water pick, brushing more than usual, and soaking the gum in the peroxide has made it a thing of the past. However, I am not stopping the water pick and soaking it once every two days in the peroxide, just as a precaution. There's a big tear-drop shaped flappy-floopity piece of gum hanging out over the middle of my wisdom tooth. I can shove my tongue under there, and I imagine all sorts of food too. No sense in not making double sure it doesn't get infection or inflamed again.
Long hot shower at night + fresh, still-warm-from-the-dryer pajamas + same for bed sheets and blankets = sleepgasm. I wish I could bottle the feeling of what it's like to curl up in, and swipe my toes across, as well as fondle into my pillow--in a bed that smells so good. Shawn brought home lotus & rain fabric softner instead of cheap no-name dryer sheets for a treat. My god what a difference.
If you can't afford shaving cream, conditioner DOES work just as well. I found that out this week as I ran out and didn't feel the need to really spend the extra $ we don't have on something that I won't die without. So I read somewhere that conditioner works just as well, and slathered some on my legs and went to town shaving. It's 100% true (though I imagine it depends on whether your conditioner is thick or not.) and I think I might just not bother buying the shaving cream anymore. One less cost on the food bill = more money to save!

This concludes my random rambling and odd list for today.

Anyone else have any cost-effective tips or ideas? We need 'em.

03 April 2009 , 12:04 pm

Tea, Bus, Birthday -- Mel's Random Lists Edition

tired

mels random lists

I still have 6 $5 certificates for Adagio Teas. This little bit is generally enough to buy a little sample of delicious tea. Anyone want one?

I sent one to you

eve_dot_com a long while ago via your AOL mail but, I imagine that was a poor move as the AOL spam catcher probably ate it. If you or your sister would like one let me know, be glad to resend it.

In other news, my Gray hound tickets came today. Unfolding them is lol. They unflip forever and are taller than I am when unraveled.

Tomorrow is gramina's birthday and I know I am early but I just wanted to wish you HAPPY DAY before hand. I hope there is warmth and peace, laughter and love, giggles and sugar very where.

I am very tired and very unmotivated to role play outside of expectations. Every time I go and try to play I let something bother me enough to ruin my experience. That's my own fault, but god damn some times I just get tired of seeing people do the same things, in character and out, over and over again. Myself included. (there's another rant brewing there of course, but I'll save it for later. Maybe a month away from role play will have me rested and refreshed.)

I've twelve days before I go on my three day bus voyage but I pretty much have everything all packed already. Is it sad that every single piece of clothing I own that is worth wearing fits in a single pull-along suit case? That's including jammies n' undies.

I am seriously considering packing, along with my tea and tea cup the kettle too. Just so I can have my tea my way.

I am extremely tired all the time. I wake up and I am tired. I do things and I am tired. I work out and I am tired. I go to sleep tired. I wake up again tired. I'd like to not be tired.

I'm tired right now.

Mixing chocolate tea with cherry tea is delicious.

I've just run out of honey.

Why does Lane Bryant have such awesome clothing at prices I can never afford?

I'm trying to download Runes of Magic once again. Let's see if I can play it. It's out of beta.

30 December 2008 , 06:38 pm

No more resolutions. Just...wheat?

hopeful

mels random lists

Resolutions are difficult to keep all year long and like many things, something which I feel are set up easy for failure more than success. So this year, I have made no resolutions.

I have made a few promises to myself:

Whole wheat explosion. Whole wheat breads, noodles, rolls ups. Wheat, wheat everywhere and not a drop of white.
Lettuce is actually quite delicious. No more crap side dishes, salads with vinaigrette dressings.
3 days a week on the wii, 1 hour each. Trying for everyday just ended up in disappointment with myself which ended up into guilt which turns into well fuck it. There's no excuse for me to miss three days--lots of time to set aside one measly hour, not to mention the rest of the work out I get keeping up with the house and what not.
Beef substitutes. Beef is right out, for me. I just can't eat beef anymore. In meeting me in the middle, I've agreed to try turkey sausages and learn to cook more fish for Shawn, who adores beef but is so kick ass he has never complained of the no-beef in our house. Also promise to try once, the following: vegetarian burgers/meat replacement, good tofu in good tofu recipe.

That's it. I am so tired of failing, so I am hoping that by not saying I must, or I have to or I can't--I'll say: I'll try.

04 November 2008 , 06:38 am

10 Random Things About Me I still haven't told you yet....I think!

groggy

mel is a silly bitch, mels random lists

In the spirit of sharing and realizing that my life is as mundane as everyone elses, I come to spice it up by sharing 10 random facts about myself that I don't think I have shared yet, as if you REAAAALLLY wanted to know!

(shut up I just like lists.)

1.) Thanks to one marathon session of season 1 & 2 of the Tudors last month, I have been on a semi-obsessed love affair with the 1550's and there abouts--despite the dirty, filthy, stinking, backwards ways it was. It's the wigs--the pearls, the diamonds and the gowns. Or maybe the men in tight hose...Anyway, last night I shot sleep in the head to watch Elizabeth, and Elizabeth: the golden age. I had fun. Tudors Season 3 cannot get here fast enough.

2.) Now that Bill and Sookie (HBO Series: Trueblood) have humped like rabbits that certain spark that made the show different has started to fade. I still like the show, but I find myself loosing enthusiasm in worrying about it.

3.) I have a million things I always want to do. I am the world's greatest procrastinator. I want to repaint this picture. I want to sit down with my sketchbook and practice. I want to work on rusty CSS skills. I want to get back into fiddling with layouts. I want to make graphics and icons. I want to role play. I want to write. I want to make money online. I want to try Nano this year (I made an account. Haven't even started and probably won't lololololol.) I want to write poetry. I want to learn how to write better. I have things to clean--this goes through my head and more, everyday. Generally, I clean and dick around the internet. Woo.

4.) I forgive easily but I do not forget. If some one wrongs me, even if I say I have forgiven them--I tend to start building walls, or shutting them out quietly bit by bit until I have placed suitable distance. What I mean by that, is, I sort of slowly remove myself from them while being as polite and nonchalant as possible--and generally tend to make them have to some how earn my trust again to get the process reversed...Or they don't, and eventually I am just completely gone all together. Bad habit, that!

5.) I never used to have a shoe fetish. As I have neared and now passed 30, I have a drive to want to own every shiny pair of shoes I pass. Pretty shoes, comfy shoes, slipper-shoes, funny shoes, high heels...I would literally have many pairs to wear different shoes a day. I do not know where this came from. When I was a child, we had money enough for a pair of shoes. Normally, THE pair that fit me at the time and I did not get another pair until I either grew out of them or they were falling apart. When I first met Shawn, I had a pair of WALMART sandals. That was it. I wore those for two years before I met him and wore them for another four/five after. Eventually, I wore the soles out until there were holes where my toes and heels were and had to get new shoes. Perhaps the sandals were magic sandals against shoe addiction--after that, I have turned into a payless beast. Well. I would. If Shawn would let me.

6.) I am going through my pink and sparkly phase for a second time. The first time was probably between the ages of 3-10. I wandered away from it for a while and now that I am 30 I am once again obsessed with the color pink and/or glitter. Some times the two of them together. I want to be surrounded by pink things and I am not sure what that means/where it came from.

7.) Significantly growing more foul in the vocabulary area as I grow older. I have to catch myself from saying "fuck," in public with people I don't know, because, "I don't fucking know, that fucking guy with the fucking face," is the nominal frequency fuck is used when I talk to Shawn some days.

8.) This last year I just up and developed dandruff. I have never had a damn flake. I have switched to a different regiment of washing and conditioning and finally caved in to trying Head & Shoulders. Both my parents had psoriasis and mentioning Head & Shoulders brought nightmares of this bright blue shit that smelled like medicine cabinets in hospitals + some kind of poop. I am happy to say Head & Shoulders has since then, VASTLY improved, the shampoo & conditioner I have right now smells awesome and not like poo.

9.) I had three sparkly head bands from Target purchased last year. Cheap kind, not for holding hair back per se but for glittering and shimmering on your head. Secretly, I pretended the silver leopard sparkly, red and black head bands were tiaras. This appeased me for some time until 2 of them snapped. The last one, my sparkly leopard spotted one is still alive but the plastic is creaking. I will be very sad when it goes.

10.) Some times my cat is so overwhelmingly adorable I scoop her up and tell her that she's so cute that I have to eat her. So I gum on her head like a retard while making fake chewing motions, get hair all in my face and mouth and top it off with really loud OUM NOM NOM noises.

Welp, there's my ten random FAQ's ya'll probably really didn't want to know about me! How's about you?

25 April 2008 , 06:09 pm

You know what really grinds my gears?

ditzy

mels random lists

Let me tell you internets!

Dirty Glasses
I'm sure that no one is really hip to having the pair of glasses they wear, or sunglasses dirty. But I'm near obsessive when it comes to keeping mine clean. I probably clean my glasses two or three times a day because I cannot stand it when I'm looking at something and a smear, schmear, smudge or spec is on my glasses. I go and clean them. If I clean them and succeed to only schmutz the face-grease all over the lens further, giving me this nice hazy/halo of crap to look through, it drives me battier. And I go clean them again. I've tried glass cleaners galore, those little glass cleaning pads that look a lot like wet naps, clothes and other cleaners. None of them seem to be able to keep my glasses clean completely. Even having to wash them two or three times a day drives me nuuttsss.

People who chew with their mouth open--not the visual, but the sound.
Unless it's for joking purposes, y'know? Those little lip smacks and mm-mm's of "this is fucking delicious!" is acceptable. People who chew with their mouth open, smacking, cracking, wet and soggy jaw smooshing and grinding food who tend to, on top of that, either mouth-breath heavily or breath through their nostrils as if they'd come back from a good run. I can't fucking take it, I want to sit them down and clamp their jaws shut. My mother hated it too, and I think I probably inherited it from her.

Repetition
Every once and a while, I'll be doing a load of laundry for the 23232323232 time, or cleaning up cat piss for the 4545th time in a day and I just want to haul off and primal scream. Or punch someone random. I do whichever task it is that makes me feel this way and I continue. The feeling passes for the next millionth times of doing whatever-it-is that needs doing a billion times a day, everyday...But occasionally I'd just like to flip out and tell the world to fuck off, I'm not washing socks. EVER AGAIN.

Because you don't remember it and I do, I'm obviously just making shit up.
I admit to being human and having my faults. Some times however, I am 100% about something. 100% sure with clear, vivid memory. But from time to time, Shawn and I have these awesome nonsense arguments (I like to call them "Jesus Christ, are they EVER married" arguments) over whether or not we've watched something. Say for example, an episode of SG: Atlantis comes on and I say, "Why are we watching this again? We watched it a month ago." And then Shawn'll say, "No we didn't. " To which I say : 0.o "Yes we did. Watch--See this part? This is where Rodney does something to the dohickey which he thinks will save the station but it actually makes something worse and then they'll fade out on a shot of Sam looking srs and upset into the distance." Which happens. So he says, "Well. You've obviously watched this one without me." And I haven't! I watched it with him! But he doesn't remember so it's obviously my fault or I'm smoking crack in between litter changes.

God I love this guy tho', seriously. Does your husband/wife/significant other/whichever title suits you do this to you?

Correcting someones grammar or spelling on some public internet forum/site/journal/some place where lots of people can see it.
I know I'll probably get a lot of flack for this one, but I just don't agree with it and it drives me nuts. Especially when it's done for jack-assey reasons. This is the internet, there are a million different ways to contact people. If you feel that you absolutely MUST correct someone on a spelling mistake/typo, for the love of holy, send them a p.m, an e-mail, an instant messenger. The only reason to correct them in a public forum/thread/what have you is so that you can stroke your own ego while pointing fingers and tittering madly.

Didn't we get over this after elementary school? If you're going to mock someone, drop the subtlety and go all out--if you want to help someone, have some consideration for them, otherwise, go be mean on your own personal journal/forum/so on and leave it alone.

Rolled up socks.
Shawn has this habit of coming home and stripping off his nuclear reactive sweaty work socks into these little nublettes of foot-death then throwing them in the dirty laundry. On laundry day, this means I must carefully unwind these crusty rolls of death so that they will wash properly and then chuck them into the washer.

Some times, I have nightmares about the smell. It's on my hands. Oh god, it's on my hands, I can't wash it off--

My klutziness
I see the dresser. I know where the dresser is. That dresser has been in that place, that same place for five years. I pass the dresser everyday. And yet, I stub my toe on that dresser every few weeks. How does that happen, srsly?

God forbid I try and put pants on still damp from the shower. One leg goes in right, but the other always gets stuck so there I am one one leg pants-wrangling in the bathroom near all SORTS of death situations. There's a tub not a foot away from me and a toilet I can dash my wobbly skull against. Every. Time. I always get one leg stuck!

My clumsy nature drives me fucking batty, I get so angry at myself for making the same klutzy mistakes over and over again!

Tell me friends, countryman, romans, fellow geeks--what is it lately that's really grinding your gears?

22 April 2008 , 04:00 pm

Lightbulbs and kitty litter.

accomplished

mels random lists

Welcome to another installment of Mel's random tips, where Mel shares her hard earned wisdom (usually from screwing up) with you, loyal readers, fans, stalkers and underwear stealers.

Tip # 1: Crystal Cat Litter.
Crystal cat litter is that oddball silica stuff found in dark places along your grocery store shelf or hidden between all the other clay stuff in your favorite pet store.

It looks kinda space agey, with it's clear little crystal looking pellets mingled with blue--sometimes, all of them are blue--but generally the uniform look resembles...yep, you guessed it, crystals.

These bags of shimmery cat-shit collectors tout promises of being good for the environment. Why are they good for the environment? Well, they say that their little crystals soak up amazing amounts of pee! Most of them promise ONE BAG for ONE CAT for ONE MONTH! Guaranteed! By using their products you're saving space in land-fills, saving yourself money, and that's good mojo for the world and everything else.

Unfortunately it's a big crock of shit.

I purchased a six pound bag of these crystally pee-absorbers last Wednesday for our cats. Luckily both myself and my husband were a little leery of the product and it's almost-too-amazing long shelf-life; we bought a small bag of old-fashioned clay litter. We're using that now.

The bag said four pounds for one cat--the bag was six pounds and we had two cats. The experiment was to see if it would do anything at all like what it said it would on the package.

It did. For the first four days.

After four days the litter box turned into this piss-colored, blue/green mess that stunk of plastic and…well…you know… cat-piss. (There really aren’t enough horrifying words to describe what this can smell like, mixed with plastic.) Two or three times a day, I'd remove any solids and stir the crystals up as per instructions. All that did was make me gag and retch as what I'd imaged the smell of 100 pounds of stale piss left in a plastic tub to cook in the Florida sun for a year, came wafting up my nostrils.

The bottom of the litter pan became this...bubbly lake of bright green piss. The silica stopped absorbing after four days.

So four days for two cats from a product that swears it'll last 30 for a single cat. I sense LIES AND DECEIT.

Sure, I'd like to help the environment. But I'd also like to not have my cats have to sink their paws into a small lake of their own piss every time they get into the litter box.

Seriously. Stay away from crystal kitty litter. Maybe try the recycles newspaper bits--but not this shit. This shit was NAS-TAY.

Tip # 1: Save A LOT of money, help the environment, and not stub your toe in the dark!
Once upon a time, the Pence household used plain old fashioned normal light bulbs. :( They were silly people who were paying a lot of money for their electric bill and having to replace light bulbs every month or two. (Florida is famous for it's power brown outs, inconsistencies, and we think whomever wired our house was a drunkard. So whenever we used normal bulbs, they'd blow out or burn out in a matter of a month or two.)

Lo' and behold, we met these bulbs:

(Actual bulb from my desk lamp!)

There are many different shapes to these, but they're all known as Compact fluorescent. This spiral shape is especially good for desk lights, and they last around eight times longer than a normal old-fashioned bulb.

We replaced all of our light bulbs with these last year. We've managed to knock our power bill down a significant chunk of moolah. And, we haven't had to replace any of these bulbs that we've put in yet. They don't get hot. I'm able to reach in and touch the bulb after it's been on for several hours and they are really bright.

They're not cheap, but they're not entirely out of normal price range, either. Consider slowly replacing your old bulbs with these. You'll use less power and save yourself some money.

If you're interested, here's a linked guide to other types of Compact fluorescents and other light bulbs: Lowe's Light Bulb Buying guide.

If you have cash in your pocket to burn, do some research into LED lights, too. Brighter, clearer, much like the above bulb--they don't burn hot and they don't use a lot of electricity, either. Also make EXCELLENT Christmas lights and decorative lights for stringing up everywhere. They last forever, and they're a little kinder on the juice.

So remember kids (for the tl;dr crowd): Crystal litter = lake of piss, LED lights or Compact fluorescent light bulbs = less power, more money in your pocket.

This has been another Random Mel Thing, brought to you by the letter WTF, and the deliciousness of a cup of genmaicha tea.